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Daily Jokes / Joke of the Day For over a year, DeepLake has been running the Joke of the Day service. Unlike many other sites, we really do update our jokes every day so you get to see the funniest jokes. Keep coming back to DeepLake Daily Jokes to kick-start your day! Good news: The Joke of the Day is back! Thanks for your patience. Today's Joke (No.1/1) Stalked by Martha Stewart? The Top 10 Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart: 10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows. 9. That telltale lemon slice in the dog's water bowl. 8. On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door. 7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace', with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce. 6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom. 5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan. 4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork. 3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying. 2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice. and the NUMBER 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart . . . 1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
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