DeepLake Jokes
Blonde jokes, yo momma jokes, funny lists, lawyer jokes, adult jokes and many more!

Some of our favourites:
Blonde Jokes - Yo Momma Jokes - Joke of the Day - Adult Jokes

You are in: DeepLake.com > DeepLake Jokes > Joke of the Day

Joke categories
- Adult Jokes
- Animal Jokes
- Bar Jokes
- Couple Jokes
- Doctor Jokes
- Geezer Jokes
- Golf Jokes
- Little Johnny Jokes
- Yo Momma
- Yo Momma Nasty
- Yo Momma Old

Jokes by e-mail, FREE!
Get funny jokes in your e-mail inbox every day, free of charge.

Sign up now, FREE!

on DeepLake.com
- Free celebrity pictures
- Funny screensavers
- Movie and album reviews
- and more...

FREE e-mail from DeepLake:
Get your FREE deepermail.com e-mail address: Sign up now!

Daily Jokes / Joke of the Day
For over a year, DeepLake has been running the Joke of the Day service. Unlike many other sites, we really do update our jokes every day so you get to see the funniest jokes. Keep coming back to DeepLake Daily Jokes to kick-start your day!

Good news: The Joke of the Day is back! Thanks for your patience.

Today's Joke (No.1/1)

Excuses For Missing Work




If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices
told me to clean all the guns today.
When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I
can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back
an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum
loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit
the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly
e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the
snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

My stigmata's acting up.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have
that deadline to meet...

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey,
how about them Dodgers, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help
you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come
to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this
jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

My step-mother has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her
to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal
peace. One day should do it.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house
is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for
helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on
paying my fair share.

[Joke of the Day Archive]     [Jokes Mailing List]

Please tell us what you think
I find the jokes here:
I will be coming back:
My comments are:


- Free DeeperMail.com e-mail - sign up now, for free: click here!
- New jokes in your e-mail inbox daily: Subscribe to the free jokes mailing list!

[Joke of the Day]     [Free e-mail!]     [deeplake.com]


Copyright © 1998-2000 DeepLake Entertainment Company. DeepLake aims to provide quality entertainment online, free of charge. We believe all the jokes displayed on this site to be in the public domain. Should this not be the case, we will happily co-operate with the legal copyright holder to remove the joke or jokes promptly. Any trademarks mentioned at this site are owned by their respective owners.